Tuesday, February 27, 2007
puppy love
My dog doesn't like when I leave for work- so she eats my mail...today she ate a new cd :( Grrrr...
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Sleep Deprived
All I've been doing all weekend is sleep. Yet, I still managed to oversleep this morning and miss church. Grrrrr...Friday I watched a movie (Elizabethtown) and slept. Saturday, I slept in, watched a movie (The Guardian), took a nap, journaled, worked on some writing, checked email, made dinner, watched a movie (SummerStorm), slept, answered drunken phone call from brother at 2:00 AM, and slept. Today, well apparently I needed to sleep in again since I managed to turn off my alarm...So what else is on the horizon? Some time with God, grade papers, who knows - maybe watch a movie (either Flags of our Fathers or SherryBaby) since I seem to be on quite a movie kick - drive to C3 if the weather allows. And PRAY FOR SNOW!
Saturday, February 24, 2007
I need to read more Jane Austen
You scored as Marianne Dashwood. Most girls can relate with Marianne on a more personal level than some of Austen's other characters. She represents the emotional longings and struggles that seem to attack and bless us at the same time. Loyal to a fault, passionate for experience and life, and a bit over-emotional, Marianne matures and grows (making her so beloved).
Which Jane Austen Character are You? created with QuizFarm.com |
In my spare time...
...and with my spare money - HA!!!
- Writing Snapshots of Grey - creative nonfiction, collection of writings, letters, memoirs of my journeys and relationships over the last 10ish years
- Co-writing Curriculum Development Text - collection of research, reflection, and student work regarding how to develop and implement cutting edge curriculum, based on my experiences over the last year with my new Advanced Literacies Class.
- Remodeling my bathroom - new pedestal sink and toilet, new tile floor, re-bath covering over tub and tile walls, new ceiling, new paint, new decor :)
- Finishing my backyard - finish laying raised flower beds, build steps, plant grass, plant flowers, buy grill, have party :)
working my way through it all
My tendency to want to do away feels natural and
My urgency to dream of softer places feels understandable
The only way out is through
The faster we're in the better
The only way out is through ultimately
The only way out is through
The only way we'll feel better
The only way out is through ultimately
Every time I'm confused
I think there must be easier ways
Every time our horns are locked on towel throwing
Every time we're at a loss, we've bolted from difficulty
Anytime we're still made of final bowing
My tendency to want to hide away feels easier and
The immediacy is picturing another place comforting to go
The only way out is through
The faster we're in the better
The only way out is through ultimately
The only way out is through
The only way we'll feel better
The only way out is through ultimately
A.M.
My urgency to dream of softer places feels understandable
The only way out is through
The faster we're in the better
The only way out is through ultimately
The only way out is through
The only way we'll feel better
The only way out is through ultimately
Every time I'm confused
I think there must be easier ways
Every time our horns are locked on towel throwing
Every time we're at a loss, we've bolted from difficulty
Anytime we're still made of final bowing
My tendency to want to hide away feels easier and
The immediacy is picturing another place comforting to go
The only way out is through
The faster we're in the better
The only way out is through ultimately
The only way out is through
The only way we'll feel better
The only way out is through ultimately
A.M.
you and me
At the dark end of the street
That's where we always meet
Hiding in shadows where we don't belong
Living in darkness to hide our wrong
You and me at the dark end of the street
You and me
I know time is gonna take its toll
We have to pay for what we stole
It's a sin and we know it's wrong
Oh but our love keeps coming on strong
Steal away to the dark end of the street
You and me
They're gonna find us
They're gonna find us
They're gonna find us all some day
You and me at the dark end of the street
And when the daylight hour rolls round
And by chance we're both downtown
If we should meet then just walk on by
Oh darling please please don't cry
Tonight we'll meet
At the dark end of the street
Oh tonight we'll meet
At the dark end of the street
Eva Cassidy
That's where we always meet
Hiding in shadows where we don't belong
Living in darkness to hide our wrong
You and me at the dark end of the street
You and me
I know time is gonna take its toll
We have to pay for what we stole
It's a sin and we know it's wrong
Oh but our love keeps coming on strong
Steal away to the dark end of the street
You and me
They're gonna find us
They're gonna find us
They're gonna find us all some day
You and me at the dark end of the street
And when the daylight hour rolls round
And by chance we're both downtown
If we should meet then just walk on by
Oh darling please please don't cry
Tonight we'll meet
At the dark end of the street
Oh tonight we'll meet
At the dark end of the street
Eva Cassidy
Friday, February 23, 2007
Would you know me now
we were young and so inspired
we weren't the only ones who thought
we'd change the world
no sun would set without us
no one we knew could ever doubt us
we had our future figured out
we knew a love like ours would always save the day
and that we'd always be ok
but would you know me now
would you lay me down beside you
tell me everything i want to hear
like that was your favorite year
like that was your favorite year
Dixie Chicks
we weren't the only ones who thought
we'd change the world
no sun would set without us
no one we knew could ever doubt us
we had our future figured out
we knew a love like ours would always save the day
and that we'd always be ok
but would you know me now
would you lay me down beside you
tell me everything i want to hear
like that was your favorite year
like that was your favorite year
Dixie Chicks
5 Year Plan
Recently, I have been quite convinced that I can't do what I am doing too much longer - I give myself about 5 years. I love my students, I love my colleagues, I love my material, I love great conversation, and I love impacting lives, but I hate the politics, the red tape, the incompetency, the inconsistency, and the bureaucracy. I hate the system. So, I need a plan. I'm not clinging to the plan. It could change tomorrow or in five years and a day, but I need a plan nonetheless - a plan that is practical yet visionary, determined yet flexible - a plan that I hold in my open hand, not my closed fist.
During the next five years, I want to...
- Gain more teaching experience at North
- Continue my literacy research (Advanced Academic Literacies Course)
- Pursue a Master's in Educational Leadership/Curriculum Development
- Pursue a Supervisor/Principal Certification
- Present at the National Literacy Convention
- Publish my first book
- Publish articles in education journals
- Pursue Literacy Consultant opportunities
- Design and lead seminars
After that???
- PhD in Literacy Education?
- Administrative position in curriculum development?
- AIDS relief in Africa?
- Get married and have babies?
- Own a little Bed and Breakfast and write books on the beach?
- Change the world?
Thursday, February 22, 2007
morning thoughts
I regularly wake up debating with myself whether I should get out of bed. Which call will I listen to - Duty or Depression? Most days I choose to be dutiful. I get up. I go to work. I teach. I usually even enjoy my day. I usually even wonder why I wake up feeling like I do when I feel so positive later on. Most days...
Tuesday I did not choose duty. I am very persuasive - sometimes I can even convince myself...
Wednesday, therefore, was a looooong day. But good, productive, enjoyable, tiring. And since I worked so hard, I somehow thought it would be a good idea to play equally hard - and long - into the wee hours of the morning.
Thus, today it was especially hard to choose duty - after two hours of sleep :) But I did. Yes, I was operating on pure adrenaline, but what a day!! I, along with 5 other literacies teachers, took 17 students to FunPlex to celebrate their accomplishments during the semester. So fun. Laser Tag - Go Carts - Roller Coaster Simulators, FreeFall, DDR, Arcades :) How fun to bond with them on such a different level. I teach great kids, I really do. I want to wake up believing this truth.
Tuesday I did not choose duty. I am very persuasive - sometimes I can even convince myself...
Wednesday, therefore, was a looooong day. But good, productive, enjoyable, tiring. And since I worked so hard, I somehow thought it would be a good idea to play equally hard - and long - into the wee hours of the morning.
Thus, today it was especially hard to choose duty - after two hours of sleep :) But I did. Yes, I was operating on pure adrenaline, but what a day!! I, along with 5 other literacies teachers, took 17 students to FunPlex to celebrate their accomplishments during the semester. So fun. Laser Tag - Go Carts - Roller Coaster Simulators, FreeFall, DDR, Arcades :) How fun to bond with them on such a different level. I teach great kids, I really do. I want to wake up believing this truth.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
you'll be in my heart
I saw Tarzan on Broadway this weekend - very good, different from the movie, and more depressing than I expected...but still very good. I was very affected by the two father figures - one so much like my father at times and one so much like who I wish my father could be.
Will someone tell me where I belong?
Where I should go?
Can someone tell me where I'm going wrong?
I need to know
Why would I hurt the ones I love?
Why would I hurt you?
If I can't be what he wants of me
What am I to do?
When will I be me
The son that he can't see?
There must be somebody who understands
Out there, somewhere
When will I find home?
A place where I belong?
Surely there must be more like me
Out there, somewhere
There must be somebody just like me
Out there...
Will someone tell me where I belong?
Where I should go?
Can someone tell me where I'm going wrong?
I need to know
Why would I hurt the ones I love?
Why would I hurt you?
If I can't be what he wants of me
What am I to do?
When will I be me
The son that he can't see?
There must be somebody who understands
Out there, somewhere
When will I find home?
A place where I belong?
Surely there must be more like me
Out there, somewhere
There must be somebody just like me
Out there...
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Did you tell her who you called tonight?
I want good things for you. I want happiness in your life. I want it to work for you this time, for this to be the last time.
But I also want closure. I want to hear that you and I were good together, so good... That we couldn't stay together, not because we didn't fit, but because the world couldn't handle us, and you couldn't handle the world. I want to hear that we are better off apart, not because our love faded, but because life got too complicated. I want to hear that I was the best you knew, but you knew the best for me was missing.
And I also want my friend back. Where did you go? Why couldn't you talk to me? Why couldn't you let me share your excitement, your new happiness, your new memories in motion? I wanted to be there for you, to share with you, to smile and laugh with you - and her.
I still do. I am here. I am willing.
But I also want closure. I want to hear that you and I were good together, so good... That we couldn't stay together, not because we didn't fit, but because the world couldn't handle us, and you couldn't handle the world. I want to hear that we are better off apart, not because our love faded, but because life got too complicated. I want to hear that I was the best you knew, but you knew the best for me was missing.
And I also want my friend back. Where did you go? Why couldn't you talk to me? Why couldn't you let me share your excitement, your new happiness, your new memories in motion? I wanted to be there for you, to share with you, to smile and laugh with you - and her.
I still do. I am here. I am willing.
My song for you
Open the window
Let the sunset in
If only for the last time
Let me see you smile again
I'll take my records
You can have your books
I'm sorry I never read them
But it says so much about us
Always trying
To make love out of care
The perfect recipe
But something wasn't there
Sunrays and Saturdays
Perfect starry nights
Sweet dreams and moonbeams
And a love that's warm and bright
Sunrays and Saturdays
Friendship strong and true
Oceans of blue and a room with a view
To live the life you choose
You'll write me letters
I'll call you on the phone
A wire away from touching
And never quite alone
We'll get to know ourselves again
And we'll heal our hearts
It's not that we're bad together
We're just better off apart
Always trying
To have one and one make two
And even though it never worked
I still feel love for you
Sunrays and Saturdays
Perfect starry nights
Sweet dreams and moonbeams
And a love that's warm and bright
Sunrays and Saturdays
Friendship strong and true
Oceans of blue and a room with a view
To live the life you choose
Vertical Horizon
Let the sunset in
If only for the last time
Let me see you smile again
I'll take my records
You can have your books
I'm sorry I never read them
But it says so much about us
Always trying
To make love out of care
The perfect recipe
But something wasn't there
Sunrays and Saturdays
Perfect starry nights
Sweet dreams and moonbeams
And a love that's warm and bright
Sunrays and Saturdays
Friendship strong and true
Oceans of blue and a room with a view
To live the life you choose
You'll write me letters
I'll call you on the phone
A wire away from touching
And never quite alone
We'll get to know ourselves again
And we'll heal our hearts
It's not that we're bad together
We're just better off apart
Always trying
To have one and one make two
And even though it never worked
I still feel love for you
Sunrays and Saturdays
Perfect starry nights
Sweet dreams and moonbeams
And a love that's warm and bright
Sunrays and Saturdays
Friendship strong and true
Oceans of blue and a room with a view
To live the life you choose
Vertical Horizon
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Work - Jars of Clay
Just in case I will leave my things packed
So I can run away
I cannot trust these voices
I don't have a lot of prospects
That can give some kind of peace
There is nothing left to cling to
That can bring me sweet release
I have no fear of drowning
It's the breathing
That's taking all this work
Do you know what I mean when I say
"I don't wanna be alone"
What I mean when I say
"I don't wanna be alone"
Empty spaces Shadows hit by streetlights
The warning signs and weight of tired conversations
In the absence of a shoulder
In the absence of a thief
On the brink of this destruction
On the eve of bittersweet
Now all the demons look like prophets
And I'm living out every word they speak
Every word they speak
I have no fear of drowning
It's the breathing
That's taking all the work
So I can run away
I cannot trust these voices
I don't have a lot of prospects
That can give some kind of peace
There is nothing left to cling to
That can bring me sweet release
I have no fear of drowning
It's the breathing
That's taking all this work
Do you know what I mean when I say
"I don't wanna be alone"
What I mean when I say
"I don't wanna be alone"
Empty spaces Shadows hit by streetlights
The warning signs and weight of tired conversations
In the absence of a shoulder
In the absence of a thief
On the brink of this destruction
On the eve of bittersweet
Now all the demons look like prophets
And I'm living out every word they speak
Every word they speak
I have no fear of drowning
It's the breathing
That's taking all the work
Resolve
Everyday, tomorrow, and sometime...
- Good music
- Deep conversations
- Healthy food
- Good beer
- Exercise
- Great books - fiction, non fiction, truth
- Travel - pleasure, purpose, passion
- Write - memoir, scrapbook, academic journal article, curriculum development
- Journal
- Study for GREs
- Research grad schools
- Drive cross-country
- Backpack through Europe
- Travel to each continent
- Master's/PhD?
- AIDs in Africa?
- Figure out me
- Take time for me
- Remember how to breath
- Remember to breath
Monday, January 01, 2007
How can I keep up this breathing
I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down
Where is the coastguard
I keep looking each direction
For a spotlight, give me something
I need something for protection
Maybe flotsam junk will do just fine
The jetsam sunk, I'm left behind
I'm treading for my life believe me
(How can I keep up this breathing)
Not knowing how to think I scream aloud, begin to sink
My legs and arms are broken down
With envy for the solid ground I'm reaching for the life within me
How can one man stop his ending
I thought of just your face
Relaxed, and floated into space
Blue October
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down
Where is the coastguard
I keep looking each direction
For a spotlight, give me something
I need something for protection
Maybe flotsam junk will do just fine
The jetsam sunk, I'm left behind
I'm treading for my life believe me
(How can I keep up this breathing)
Not knowing how to think I scream aloud, begin to sink
My legs and arms are broken down
With envy for the solid ground I'm reaching for the life within me
How can one man stop his ending
I thought of just your face
Relaxed, and floated into space
Blue October
Sunday, November 26, 2006
You agree?
| You Are Most Like Carrie! |
 Romantic prediction: You'll fall for someone this year... Totally different from any guy you've dated. |
Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You?
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Personality
| You Are An ISFJ |
The Nurturer You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal. A good listener, you excell at helping others in practical ways. In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music. You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for. You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist. |
Monday, September 04, 2006
Broken Pride
This past week at school has been so difficult. I was so excited to begin, to meet my students, to impact lives, to implement new strategies and revised materials. I was so ready to go back, and so thankful for my renewed state of mind and vision. But from the first moment back, work was so unexpectedly difficult. From the unfinished classrooms, to the frustrating in-services, from the unorganized meetings to the inconsiderate and undeveloped policies, from the lack of support in the literacy class to the lack of time for preparations, from the technology difficulties to the difficult schedules, this has been the hardest first week of school I have experienced. I find it so hard to respect decisions that seem so inconsiderate of the needs of the students and teachers. And on top of the lack of support I feel in so many areas, I have been feeling so out of control in my own classroom. I am not used to feeling out of control. I’m used to working hard and being prepared and being successful. But all of my work and preparations mean nothing when the technology doesn’t work or the classroom isn’t ready or the schedule is changed unexpectedly. I feel so powerless. I can’t fix it. I just have to accept it. All in all, this week has been a very humbling experience.
Break down my pride and ego. Tear down my idols of reputation and competence. I hate not being in control, I hate not being able to fix a situation, I hate not being able to work hard and see results. Break down this reliance on my own abilities. Help me to rely on You.
Break down my pride and ego. Tear down my idols of reputation and competence. I hate not being in control, I hate not being able to fix a situation, I hate not being able to work hard and see results. Break down this reliance on my own abilities. Help me to rely on You.
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