Divorse

Recently I have been struck by a very deep sadness due to broken relationships...Obviously I'm carrying my own baggage into this topic, and I'm sure my emotions are not entirely objective, but all around me I see people much too willing to throw away relationships. Granted, there is usually a great deal of hurt feelings, broken trust, and betrayal involved in these break ups. But I just don't get how people can just throw away all the years, all the memories, all the experiences, and all the future plans with out more of a fight...

Here's my case and point...one of the reasons I love my job so much is because of the people - good people who support me, laugh and cry with me, share my passions, and live life with me. On any given day, you will find up to a dozen of us involved in some type of philosophical discussion, curriculum planning endeavor, festive happy hour shenanigans, or wild and crazy adventures in the city, at the beach, or on the road...So many relationships with so many dynamics. And I love them. I depend on them. We depend on each other.

So come this Thursday, I learn that two of the group - the true dynamic duo, the inseparable pair, the best friends of the group - are potentially no longer even speaking to each other outside of professional requirements. Its like they broke up - people are calling it the great divorce... Who knows, maybe they will work it out, maybe they will get over it, maybe they will at least be able to enjoy each others company again even if they never trust again. But maybe not - maybe this is it - the end of an era.

And when I found out - I was in tears...pitiful I know...but I was - am - so sad. I mean it’s bad enough that it was a stupid guy - yes a guy - that got in the middle of it, and then even worse that one friend can't admit she was wrong and apologize, but what really gets me is the acceptance that it is over...Where is the fight? Where is the sacrifice? Where is the forgiveness? Aren’t 3 years worth more than an insignificant guy? Aren't the people you love worth more than the temporary hurt? Am I just a naive, ignorant, romantic to still hold hope in commitment and permanence? I’m not suggesting that people never fight, or hurt each other, or screw up – but I’m talking about perseverance, endurance, growth, faithfulness, unconditional love. That’s what I want – that’s what I’m willing to wait for and willing to aim for.

In the Storm

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again,
I say "Amen"and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I bearly hear
You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise God
Who gives and takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For you are who you are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm

I remember whenI stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For you are who you are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

- Casting Crowns