Almost every morning for the last two weeks I have awoken with this song in my thoughts...
God of justice
Savior to all
Came to rescue the weak and the poor
Chose to serve and not to be served
Jesus, you have called us
Freely we have received
Now, freely we will give
We must go
Live to feed the hungry
Stand beside the broken
We must go
Stepping forward
Keep us from just singing
Move us into action
We must go
To act justly every day
Loving mercy in every way
Walking humbly before you God
You have shown us what you require
Freely we have received
Now, freely we will give
We must go
Live to feed the hungry
Stand beside the broken
We must go
Stepping forward
Keep us from just singing
Move us into action
We must go
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out...
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Lacrosse
So...Yesterday was my first lacrosse practice. I'm coaching freshman girl's lacrosse, and when I say first practice, I mean first practice - ever. I played soccer...not lacrosse. So, needless to say, it's been interesting :) I held a lacrosse stick for the first time on Wednesday, and now suddenly I'm supposed to be able to teach freshman, some of whom have also never played, the rules and strategies and fundamentals of the game. Here's what I know so far - cutting, dodging, switching, cradling, throwing, catching. But when I say "know" I do not mean to suggest "can do" myself! HA! Well, actually, it hasn't been that bad. I've watched some videos, read some books, and the three other coaches are helping. It's fun mostly, but still a little stressful :)
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Testimony
This past Sunday I joined my church as an official member!! Very exciting :) I also had the privledge to share my testimony with the congregation. Here goes...
Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners--of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.
Paul’s words in 1Timothy 1: 15-16 are so true in my life. In spite of my great sin, Jesus showed me mercy so that others might see the Glory of God. It is my hope and prayer that everything I share this morning reflects that God is Good and True and Faithful – that God keeps his promises – and that God is the One and Only Redeemer of terrible sinners like myself. This is my testimony of how God has redeemed my life and drawn myself back to him.
I was raised in a Christian home and became a Christian at a young age. I loved going to church and was eager to learn about God. But I also became good at leading a double life at an early age. Though I was committed to reading the word, fellowshipping with Christians, and attending Christian events, I still had many doors of my heart closed off to God – certain areas were off limits and I wanted to maintain control rather than to submit to God’s word and authority in my life. For many years, I especially resisted submitting and entrusting to God my desire for marriage and intimacy. Thankfully, through God’s faithfulness to me over the last few years, I have learned that I must flee my self-created idols and turn to God – the only One who can ever meet all of my needs.
As I mentioned, for several years, I had become a slave to my idol of relationships and I followed it down a very destructive and sinful path. Throughout college, I was involved in a dating relationship that was not honoring to God. Though God placed many people in my life to gently show me this area of sin, I blindly resisted, believing that somehow I could make this relationship right with God. Now that I have some distance from the relationship, I can see how I was heading down such a deadly path.
But God is so Good and he drew me back to him. This past summer, God changed my life drastically. At this point, I had been engaged for several months, and was fully committed to marrying a man whom I now know God did not intend for me. But in His sovereignty, God persisted with me and allowed me to see a side of my then finance that finally shook and concerned me. After an unexpected change in his behavior regarding his level of commitment and honesty, I ended our engagement and broke off our relationship. Rather than spending the summer planning my wedding, God gave me a summer devoted to listening to His voice, and truly experiencing the Goodness, Faithfulness, and Grace of God.
Although the summer months, and even since then, were difficult and ridden with many emotional ups and downs, I am so thankful for what God has done in life, and I am daily amazed at how He has poured out mercy, grace, and blessing in my life. I feel so blessed by God that He protected me from my sin, even when I choose to persist so long in going my own way.
In the months since our breakup, I have truly experienced God’s love for me, His prodigal daughter. God required nothing of me but a repentant and broken heart. His arms outstretched, He immediately embraced me and restored myself to Him. As God revealed Himself to me and allowed me to trust other Christians again, a renewed desire for Christian fellowship and accountability has grown in my heart. A true testament to God’s power to change hearts is my recent decision to join Cornerstone as an official member. In the midst of my previous relationship, after suffering a lot of hurt and mistrust from Christians and the Church, I had basically told God that I didn’t see myself ever wanting to be part of a church body again, at least not as a member. I was too afraid of getting hurt, and I just couldn’t see how God’s work could be done though such a group of broken people. I now understand that though the church may be made of broken people, just like me, God’s grace is enough to cover all and to redeem His people from their brokenness.
The biggest lesson God has been teaching me is that I can trust His promises and rest in His Goodness. For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29: 11 God wants good things for me, and I can trust His promise, even when I can’t see how it will work out or when I can’t understand why my way won’t work. One of the reasons it was so hard for me to let go of my previous relationship was that I simply didn’t believe that God would be able to do better or that He loved me enough to provide a good life or relationship or husband. In so many ways, God has been showing me that these thought patterns are total lies. God’s true character can be found in Romans 8: 32 He who did not spare his own son, but gave him up for us all – how will he not also, along him, graciously give us all things. It has been so refreshing to be able to rest in God’s promise of Goodness and to believe that God loves me and truly wants good things for me. As God is changing me, I have been able to surrender more and more of what I’ve been clinging to over to God, learning to fully submit my actions, words, thoughts, fears, and dreams to his authority. Though a painful process, I have truly experienced that God is Good. He rescued me from my sin and he is faithfully redeeming all aspects of my life.
Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners--of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.
Paul’s words in 1Timothy 1: 15-16 are so true in my life. In spite of my great sin, Jesus showed me mercy so that others might see the Glory of God. It is my hope and prayer that everything I share this morning reflects that God is Good and True and Faithful – that God keeps his promises – and that God is the One and Only Redeemer of terrible sinners like myself. This is my testimony of how God has redeemed my life and drawn myself back to him.
I was raised in a Christian home and became a Christian at a young age. I loved going to church and was eager to learn about God. But I also became good at leading a double life at an early age. Though I was committed to reading the word, fellowshipping with Christians, and attending Christian events, I still had many doors of my heart closed off to God – certain areas were off limits and I wanted to maintain control rather than to submit to God’s word and authority in my life. For many years, I especially resisted submitting and entrusting to God my desire for marriage and intimacy. Thankfully, through God’s faithfulness to me over the last few years, I have learned that I must flee my self-created idols and turn to God – the only One who can ever meet all of my needs.
As I mentioned, for several years, I had become a slave to my idol of relationships and I followed it down a very destructive and sinful path. Throughout college, I was involved in a dating relationship that was not honoring to God. Though God placed many people in my life to gently show me this area of sin, I blindly resisted, believing that somehow I could make this relationship right with God. Now that I have some distance from the relationship, I can see how I was heading down such a deadly path.
But God is so Good and he drew me back to him. This past summer, God changed my life drastically. At this point, I had been engaged for several months, and was fully committed to marrying a man whom I now know God did not intend for me. But in His sovereignty, God persisted with me and allowed me to see a side of my then finance that finally shook and concerned me. After an unexpected change in his behavior regarding his level of commitment and honesty, I ended our engagement and broke off our relationship. Rather than spending the summer planning my wedding, God gave me a summer devoted to listening to His voice, and truly experiencing the Goodness, Faithfulness, and Grace of God.
Although the summer months, and even since then, were difficult and ridden with many emotional ups and downs, I am so thankful for what God has done in life, and I am daily amazed at how He has poured out mercy, grace, and blessing in my life. I feel so blessed by God that He protected me from my sin, even when I choose to persist so long in going my own way.
In the months since our breakup, I have truly experienced God’s love for me, His prodigal daughter. God required nothing of me but a repentant and broken heart. His arms outstretched, He immediately embraced me and restored myself to Him. As God revealed Himself to me and allowed me to trust other Christians again, a renewed desire for Christian fellowship and accountability has grown in my heart. A true testament to God’s power to change hearts is my recent decision to join Cornerstone as an official member. In the midst of my previous relationship, after suffering a lot of hurt and mistrust from Christians and the Church, I had basically told God that I didn’t see myself ever wanting to be part of a church body again, at least not as a member. I was too afraid of getting hurt, and I just couldn’t see how God’s work could be done though such a group of broken people. I now understand that though the church may be made of broken people, just like me, God’s grace is enough to cover all and to redeem His people from their brokenness.
The biggest lesson God has been teaching me is that I can trust His promises and rest in His Goodness. For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29: 11 God wants good things for me, and I can trust His promise, even when I can’t see how it will work out or when I can’t understand why my way won’t work. One of the reasons it was so hard for me to let go of my previous relationship was that I simply didn’t believe that God would be able to do better or that He loved me enough to provide a good life or relationship or husband. In so many ways, God has been showing me that these thought patterns are total lies. God’s true character can be found in Romans 8: 32 He who did not spare his own son, but gave him up for us all – how will he not also, along him, graciously give us all things. It has been so refreshing to be able to rest in God’s promise of Goodness and to believe that God loves me and truly wants good things for me. As God is changing me, I have been able to surrender more and more of what I’ve been clinging to over to God, learning to fully submit my actions, words, thoughts, fears, and dreams to his authority. Though a painful process, I have truly experienced that God is Good. He rescued me from my sin and he is faithfully redeeming all aspects of my life.
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