I want good things for you. I want happiness in your life. I want it to work for you this time, for this to be the last time.
But I also want closure. I want to hear that you and I were good together, so good... That we couldn't stay together, not because we didn't fit, but because the world couldn't handle us, and you couldn't handle the world. I want to hear that we are better off apart, not because our love faded, but because life got too complicated. I want to hear that I was the best you knew, but you knew the best for me was missing.
And I also want my friend back. Where did you go? Why couldn't you talk to me? Why couldn't you let me share your excitement, your new happiness, your new memories in motion? I wanted to be there for you, to share with you, to smile and laugh with you - and her.
I still do. I am here. I am willing.
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16 comments:
Don't bog yourself down with thoughts about "him." He's a punk. P-u-n-k.
Girl, remember, you're all-that-and-a-bag-of-chips. You need to go out there and find yourself a new man. A good man. Someone who appreciates you and doesn't make your life complicated.
It would be nice if it were that easy, wouldn't it? If the way to get over a man (or a woman, if you're in a man's shoes) were to find another one. c the maven, I'm positive you have good intentions in your statement, so please don't take this as anything against you. But all that does is cover up the feelings, not get rid of them. The only real replacement for a disappointing man is contentment in the Lord.
The other tough part is finding reconciliation with someone who doesn't want to be reconciled with. The Bible tells us to be at peace with everyone, as far as we are able (Rom 12:18). But what do you do when the other person either doesn't see anything wrong with what happened/is happening, or for whatever reason, just would rather pretend the situation doesn't exist? Somehow, you have to let go. Even if you're right and he is completely wrong, you must choose to let go. And I emphasize choose, because it's kinda like sin--we say we want to let go, but if we're 100% honest, we hold on to our sin because we don't want to let go. It feels too good, we can't picture ourselves without it, etc., and due to that we don't let go. It's often the same in relationships--we don't want to let go until we feel vindicated. The vindication often comes when the other person admits they're wrong & we're right. But compare that attitude to Christ--he was always right, they were always wrong. But yet He still loved them. He never lorded over them the fact that He was right, He never waited for them to come to Him, even today, He doesn't wait for us to come to Him--He comes to us. Praise be to God! And the same principle should rule our relationships with others; even if we think they've wronged us, we need to let go. Is it easy? NO!! Especially for competitive people such as ourselves. I'm in a similar situation, where I just want the other person to admit they're wrong, and then we can begin reconciliation. But the other person just refuses to admit that, and it's my sin that keeps me brooding over the situation rather than moving on past it.
Hope that helped or at least gave you some things to think about. I'm very encouraged by the fact that you're expressing your feelings and not denying their existence. I'm praying for you, sister!
Hey friend - Thanks for your thoughts. Who are you?? I have a few guesses, but I'd love to know for sure!
I'll gladly reveal my identity soon enough. But I'm curious to see who you think I am. If you're not comfortable saying names, feel free to use some identifying thing--a conversation we've had, a place we've eaten, etc.
Here's my first guess: We went to college together for one year. We have eaten at Red Robin. You often get skipped in Phase 10...
I have a couple of other ideas if I'm wrong. How'd I do?
This is kind of fun :)
I thought you might enjoy this :-). Is that your final answer? If not, any other guesses? I will tell you soon enough if that guess is correct.
Final answer. I have some other thoughts on who you might be, but certain clues are pointing me to you - competetive, well spoken, sensitive, knowledgable about my situation, sound theology, a sense of humor...
My other guesses include two of the three dry surfers who were recently groomsmen in a wedding...but I feel pretty confident about my original guess.
If all of these are wrong, I have some thinking to do!
If you are who I think you are, I didn't know you read my blog...
Those are some very well determined deductions, and I do thank you for the kind words about my post! Just one more puzzle and you'll figure out who I am and if you are correct. (I'm only doing this because you enjoy it too :-).
To determine who I am, I will state that I learned that "A book [you] recently read and enjoyed" was The Secret Life of Bees. I learned this on Oct. 26, 2006.
Well, you have confused me a bit with that one. I don't have my calendar at home, so the date is throwing me off a bit...I think you could still be who I think you are, but I don't remember if we saw eachother/spoke on the 26th...However, if you are who I think you are, I think you would remember the quote and the date...hmmmm....I'm still sticking with my final answer, but one other guess is that you helped me with my backyard and are currently driving my roommates car...
The date is important, though we did not see or talk to each other that day. However, it's a later piece in the puzzle. First, you need to figure out where I would have learned that, and it would help if I had quoted it correctly. Here's the exact quote:
"The last book [you] read and enjoyed:
The Secret Life of Bees is about a young white girl who runs away from her abusive father with her black caregiver to live with three black bee-keepers in a nearby town..."
If you can figure out where I got that quote from, then you can use the date to find me.
Okay - I found an email from the 25th with a question about a book I recently read and enjoyed. I remember responding to the email, but I no longer have it in my outbox for some reason. However, If I simply "replied all," you would have been on the recipient list from the original email. If this line of thought it correct, my first three guesses are incorrect, but my 4th guess seems much more likely! Have you lived in another country? Have I met your brother? Have we eaten Indian together?
To answer your questions:
1. I have lived in a foreign country.
2. I don't have any brothers.
3. I don't think we've eaten Indian together.
The quote does not come from an e-mail. Instead, it comes from your profile found on a website that is a repository of information on people, and you only see the information on someone else if you're matched up in electronic harmony, if you will.
I'm afraid that may have made it too easy, but I don't think I can hide myself much longer anyway :-).
Well, I have certainly been down quite a bunny trail! So, I found the quote your are referring to...how important is the date??
Yeah...I didn't think my clues would be quite this cryptic. Oct. 26 is the date that website placed you on my list (and thus, I assume the date it placed me on your list.)
Very good clues - You did a good job of throwing me of the trail a bit! I'm impressed - but also glad that I was right the first time. I have been quite intrigued these last 24 hours!!
Now that the mystery is solved, I'll have to respond more to your original post...soon...
Yes, that was quite well done, Lauren! I'm glad I was able to throw you a bit later on, or it would've been no fun at all! :-)
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